Terminally Single?
in less than half an hour my brother arrives to visit for a couple of days.
I'm really looking forward to having him here, only i just "got rid of" another house guest i've had here for 3 weeks! I want my space!
It's funny. I've lived alone so long i don't think i know how not to any more. When i was flatting in Dunedin, i had a string of nightmare flatmates: thieves, drug dealers, people who decided that they didnt need to pay rent for the 3 weeks they were working on a fishing boat, only for the week they were there before they went fishing again, party animals - as in nothing BUT partying, and the worst... just plain STUPID people - my pet peeve lol
So i got a place on my own. It was simple & basic but the rent was cheap, it was tidy and it was MINE! MY food in the fridge, MY stuff in the bathroom, MY mess to clean when i choose and no cleaning up after anyone else. MY place, MY space.
and i got selfish
My space has become so important to me that anyone in it for too long, no matter how much i enjoy their company, I get suffocated and just want my space back.
I accept that with my living space, but it does eventually become a problem in relationships. I've become selfish with myself as well, and i dont like that. It took me a long long time to figure out what was wrong, but i get suffocated by people who get too close to me as well. I start finding flaws, and even tiny ones grow to be huge issues. Not always, and it can be a good thing because i find real issues that i had no idea were there in the warm glow of a new relationship, but it has caused me problems as well
must work on that - don't be so damn selfish :P
weird part is that whenever possible, i'm seriously unselfish with people i care about. I give and give, often to my own detriment. another story - coming soon.
Hmmm, my bro is here now, mebbe i'll set him up with an avatar and set him roaming around D'mala. I told enough people he was coming to visit that he should get a really warm reception!
anyway, am I terminally Single or not? I ask myself all the time. Will i ever find someone who doesn't piss me right off long enough to settle myself into being with them?
God i hope theres hope
I'm really looking forward to having him here, only i just "got rid of" another house guest i've had here for 3 weeks! I want my space!
It's funny. I've lived alone so long i don't think i know how not to any more. When i was flatting in Dunedin, i had a string of nightmare flatmates: thieves, drug dealers, people who decided that they didnt need to pay rent for the 3 weeks they were working on a fishing boat, only for the week they were there before they went fishing again, party animals - as in nothing BUT partying, and the worst... just plain STUPID people - my pet peeve lol
So i got a place on my own. It was simple & basic but the rent was cheap, it was tidy and it was MINE! MY food in the fridge, MY stuff in the bathroom, MY mess to clean when i choose and no cleaning up after anyone else. MY place, MY space.
and i got selfish
My space has become so important to me that anyone in it for too long, no matter how much i enjoy their company, I get suffocated and just want my space back.
I accept that with my living space, but it does eventually become a problem in relationships. I've become selfish with myself as well, and i dont like that. It took me a long long time to figure out what was wrong, but i get suffocated by people who get too close to me as well. I start finding flaws, and even tiny ones grow to be huge issues. Not always, and it can be a good thing because i find real issues that i had no idea were there in the warm glow of a new relationship, but it has caused me problems as well
must work on that - don't be so damn selfish :P
weird part is that whenever possible, i'm seriously unselfish with people i care about. I give and give, often to my own detriment. another story - coming soon.
Hmmm, my bro is here now, mebbe i'll set him up with an avatar and set him roaming around D'mala. I told enough people he was coming to visit that he should get a really warm reception!
anyway, am I terminally Single or not? I ask myself all the time. Will i ever find someone who doesn't piss me right off long enough to settle myself into being with them?
God i hope theres hope
posted by Jen at 7:24 PM
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