that'll teach me

Damn i wish I was more relaxed when I write letters; they always come out sounding so official, when that's not how I mean them to come across at all! Hopefully blogging will help that - i need to teach myself to write as I speak, that I can convey my point without getting all beaurocratic and formal sounding - I hate that!

well.... 3 1/2 weeks ago I wrote an email.

It was important to me to write it, it was also a really hard one to write. I have never actively promoted my singing, and that was what i did in this email. I was nervous and afraid, careful how I placed every word, I even managed to make it sound light and relaxed and it took me days to write.... another several hours with my mouse poised over the send button before I could bring myself to send it.

You see, I know I sing well, really well. friends around me and in game alike love to hear me and tell me all the time that I should be doing more. Unfortunately, the only recordings I have, the ones my online groupies have heard, were recorded when i was ill. I had a cold so bad I could barely breathe... but they're still good enough to impress... though I doubt someone in "the business" would be as impressed

So when I did finally send it, I was so relieved. I had always wanted to put myself forward, to be recognised for my talent, especially by people I respected and in a context that I care about so much. And now the letter was sent, and all I had to do was wait.

Well, I didn't have long to wait... within a couple hours, an email alert appeared in my messenger window. It was my reply....well not quite; it was a reply saying thanks for the email and it had been forwarded to the person who should see it.

Progress? well yeah, but that's as far as it got. After that i heard nothing. No "OMG we NEED you to sing for us", no "good idea, good voice, we're impressed and thinking about it", no "thanks but no thanks", not even a "what the hell were you thinking???". nothing in 3 1/2 weeks.

So I have no idea if the email didn't get forwarded, didn't make it to it's destination, did make it but wasn't opened, or was opened and discarded. As much respect as I have for the people I sent it to, that's a little rude.

But what can I do... I'm not sure I even want to know why now......